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Health & Fitness

BLOG: Early Morning Musings, One Cheer for Soccer

In which a football-loving Grandpa gives in to soccer.

It was Grandparents Day in Luke’s kindergarten classroom and Mrs. McKinley and I presented ourselves promptly and properly. After a few sociable preliminaries the teacher, an altogether charming and charismatic young woman, pronounced words that struck terror into my heart.

“First we would like the children to draw a picture of one of their happy memories from this year, and then we would like each grandparent to draw a picture of one of their happy memories of school days.”

I love my grandson, and wouldn’t have dreamed of skipping this event, but right then I wished I could be having some more pleasant experience. Having major surgery without anesthesia, something like that. Two reasons for that reaction:

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  1. There may be poorer artists than me somewhere on this earth, but they are as scarce as ace starting pitchers for the Twins. There was no doubt in my mind that all of the kindergarten students would be better artists than I am. I panic at the thought of any art assignment.
  2.  I consider my school days, in particular elementary school, the most unhappy time of my life, and to come up with something pleasant would be a real stretch.

Luke went first and then Mrs. McKinley and then both of Luke’s other grandparents, all of them instantaneously producing detailed multi-colored drawings of classrooms and buildings and teachers and friends and globes and books and pianos. Awesome. Unfortunately there was still time left so I had to draw. I drew a football. It was brown. To my amazement, Luke was able to recognize it as a football, and then kindly made a few improvements to the drawing.

I was never a great football player, but football sustained me through many a dark time back in my school days. But now Luke has chosen to play soccer instead of football, and I think this is a good thing.

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It is a good thing because the playing and coaching of football have changed since those distant days when the sport was the joy of my life. Equipment has changed, too; and the equipment designed to reduce the threat of injury has actually had the effect of making injury more likely, since it encourages dangerous behavior. For example: when I played football we were taught to put our shoulder into another player when tackling him.  Too many of today’s young gridders are taught to put their heads into the player instead.  There are certainly injuries in soccer, but not as many as in football.

It’s also a good thing because soccer is more fitness-friendly than football. There has always been a place for fat kids like me in football. In some positions, fatness is an asset. You never see a fat soccer player. They are constantly running and moving. Not as much standing around as football.

And it is a good thing because for individuals and school systems, soccer is more affordable. When last I heard several years ago, it cost around $500 to outfit any football player with minimal equipment. Soccer requires a ball and maybe a pair of shoes.

So it is all right that Luke plays soccer. Of course Grandpa still thinks that soccer is a dreadfully boring game to watch. I am not sophisticated enough to appreciate the world’s “beautiful game.” To me it’s a bunch of people running around randomly and then going nuts when they actually succeed in scoring a goal. A few years ago Patrick Reusse of the Star-Tribune wrote that “in the United States soccer is the sport of tomorrow and always will be.” That’s how I see it. A soccer game is like a basketball game that is all turnovers and then ends 2-0. Give me a football game on any level any day.  But I’ve been to some of Luke’s soccer games this summer. Soccer as played by kindergartners is a real trip, but I have to admit that the sport is growing on me. At least when he is playing.

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