Health & Fitness
BLOG: Working Through Grief and Loss for Our Eagan Community
Working through the pain of loss is different for everyone. We experience grief individually and collectively when our community is affected by tragedy.
The sirens outside were not difficult to miss. I send a prayer to whomever is affected by the tragedy including the emergency responders. It helps.
Less than 24 hours later, the names of the victims were made public. Ahsim Ahmed, age 18, and Kelly Kristiansen, age 42. More prayers for their families. It helps, but too many questions loom.
Unknown neighbors create memorials at the scene of the accident. It helps.
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I walk by the memorials, less than three days after the crash, and say a prayer.
I talk to a friend who knew one of the victims to learn more of his life. It helps.
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I send a text to my daughter at college who went to school since first grade with one of the victims. She is sad but already knew.
I see the faces of the families and students at Eagan High School band concert. Vibrant, happy, engaged with life. It helps.
I write this post. I’m reminded that grief has a mind of its own.
Here’s a excerpt from a blog post by a spiritual mentor, Ian Lawton.
What is good grief? The first truth of good grief is to be fully present to the pain.
The second is that you are not alone, no matter how lonely it feels at times.
The third truth of good grief is that its YOUR experience of grief, grief that follows your timetable with honesty and self awareness.
Most of us jump around from shock to outright pain to acceptance or numbness to chaos to acceptance. And that’s okay.
Be patient with yourself and others. Maybe there is no such thing as full acceptance of loss. Acceptance may be a mythical town, somewhere in the nonexistent state of closure.
The expectation of an end to grief may just add more pressure and guilt. Maybe acceptance is the mini-victories of human courage; getting through a day without crying, or managing your first Christmas alone better than you expected.
However it manifests for you, be patient with yourself and allow your mind, body and spirit to heal in its own time and its own way.
I hope this helps.
Your blog post comments are always welcome.
